Retailrip and sync by: - RuBricK - www.NorSub.com
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
BECCA: What would you do to save someone you love?
For Edward, l would stop at nothing.
(GASPS )
What is he doing?
Edward!
Edward? Where?
Oh, my God! There he is! Edward, we Iove you, you're the best!
No, Jacob's the best!
(GROANS )
(ALL YELLING)
(GRUNTING)
He's exposing himseIf!
(GRUNTING)
(BOTTLE SHATTERING)
No! No.
Edward!
(HISSING)
-(GASPS ) -(SNARLS )
(SCREAMING)
BECCA: Let me start from the beginning.
l used to live with my mom in Nevada.
But now she's always on the road, because she started doing some pro golfer.
So, l came here to the foggy town of Sporks, Washington.
Population.: 3, 120.
(GASPING)
(SNARLS )
Holy shit!
(SNARLS )
Make that 3, 1 19.
Anyway, l came here to live with my dad, Frank.
He's the town sheriff.
I haven't seen you in a whiIe. Your hair's Ionger.
I grew it out.
I guess it's hard for me to accept my IittIe girI's growing up.
I mean, Iook at the size of those tits.
-Dad! -What?
(SCOFFS )
(MYPANTlES PLAYING)
l feel so lonely
Nobody gets me
l am so unhappy
Why can't l find
a cool alternative boyfriend?
BECCA: There is something strange about this town.
l couldn't put my finger on it.
(SNARLS )
l used to live here when l was younger.
But l haven't been back in a long time.
I kept your room just as you Ieft it.
(LULLABY CHIMING)
Great.
Remember your hamster, Herman?
Might have missed a coupIe of feedings.
You couId pIay with your doIIies.
BECCA: I don't think so.
What's that?
It's been IoneIy since your mom Ieft.
(CAR HONKING)
Oh, hey.
You wanna come downstairs? Some peopIe are excited to see you.
Who wants their pacie?
Good girI.
Dad, I'm a teenager.
Right.
I guess I'd better get you some new stuff then.
BECCA: Frank didn't get me. l wasn't his little girl anymore.
-(EX CLAIMS ) -(THUDDING)
Becca, you remember Bobby White.
BECCA: Yeah.
You're Iooking good.
Good? I'm in a wheeIchair.
I can't feeI anything beIow my waist. You know what's beIow my waist?
My penis!
Sorry.
We're aII gIad you're here, especiaIIy your dad.
He wouIdn't shut up about you.
CarefuI there, Bob, I'm gonna roII you down the hiII.
Oh, boy, I'm reaI scared. Bring it on.
(CHUCKLING)
Boy, here we go!
You're in troubIe there, mister!
Oh! Oh!
-Hi. I'm Jacob. -Hi.
(BOBBY GRUNTING)
We used to make mud pies together.
(CHUCKLES )
PIay doctor?
Oh, right, right.
(FRANK GROANS )
I remember now.
I gave you a prostate exam.
So, are we going to be at the same schooI?
I go to schooI on the reservation.
It must be fun to drink and gambIe aII day.
Too bad we're not gonna be at schooI together.
It'd be nice to know at Ieast one person.
(GRUNTING CONTINUES )
(CHUCKLING)
Got you a weIcome home present.
What do you think?
I think that you're trying to buy my affection with that piece-of-shit truck
to make up for the years that you negIected me as a father.
ToId you she'd Iike it.
(CHUCKLING) That's great.
-I fixed up the engine myseIf. -Thanks, Jacob.
Go ahead, hop in.
(GROANS )
Okay. So you gotta pump the gas to start her up.
(SNIFFING) Damn fIeas.
(SIGHING CONTENTEDLY)
Jacob, your foot.
Ever since puberty, I've been feeIing a IittIe different.
(CAT MEWING)
Cat!
(JACOB BARKING)
JACOB: Come here, cat!
Come here!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
BECCA: Transferring to a school that's already in session.
Being the new kid is never easy.
Nice cIothes. StiII shopping in the boys' section?
Give her a break. That's what I used to wear when I was a virgin.
Where'd you get that haircut, "Fantastic Lesbians"?
(BECCA GRUNTING)
DERRIC: Hey, new kid!
(BECCA GROANS )
-Hi, I'm Derric. -I'm Becca.
I'm the eyes and ears of this pIace. I can hook you up with anything you need.
Cheat sheets, human growth hormone, harvested organs.
(BEATING)
No, thanks.
Oh, I get it. You're one of those antisociaI, Iong-suffering Ioner types.
ActuaIIy, I'm more of the humorIess type. Kind of a sourpuss, reaIIy.
FuII of insecurities, with no great personaIity,
yet every hot guy finds me irresistibIe.
You must be Becca. I'm Rick.
Damn, girI, you seem reaIIy boring and frigid.
You want to go to the prom with me?
See?
I'm Jennifer, future prom queen.
I'm gonna pretend to be your BFF, but if you touch Rick's wang,
I'II cut you.
(RICK SIGHS )
Who are they?
Oh! Those are the SuIIens.
They're, Iike, aII adopted by Dr. CarIton, so they're not bioIogicaIIy-reIated,
but they're reaIIy, reaIIy cIose.
They moved here a few years ago, and they're, Iike, super-weird.
It's a totaI mystery.
Their skin is ice-coId, they feed on human fIesh,
and they aII sIeep in coffins.
Maybe they're Canadian.
-Oh! -Oh!
And who's that?
-Snooki, JWOWW, DJ PauIy D... -No.
Not the douchebags from the Jersey Shore.
Him.
The reaIIy paIe dude with big hair and constipated Iook.
(CLEARING THROAT) Edward SuIIen.
(GIGGLING) He's a compIete hottie.
But, evidentIy, no one here is worthy.
He wouIdn't even accept me as his Facebook friend.
BECCA: "Favorite activity.
"Searching for a souI which has been cast into eternaI damnation"?
But I don't care about Edward.
I've got another guy on the side. Yeah.
SadIy, he went off to fight in Iraq for a year.
But we write to each other aII the time. His name is John.
JENNIFER: "Dear John, two weeks together.
"That's all it took to fall in love with you.
"And in those two weeks, you did things to me no guy had ever done before.
"l still can't ride a bicycle. "
Are you, Iike, even Iistening?
(SCOFFS )
Oh! You guys are having, Iike, an instant connection.
How can you teII?
Duh. Hardwicke 101?
You're both staring at each other in sIow motion,
which aIthough cheesy and obvious, it underscores your respective yearnings.
Oh!
Right.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
(RETCHING)
Ah! Becca.
Why don't you take the empty seat next to that mysterious boy
you're destined to have a fataIistic reIationship with
that wiII spawn four books and a movie franchise?
(SNIFFING)
(EXHALING)
(SNIFFING)
Do I smeII?
Yeah. Like tuna.
Lunch.
(AIR HISSING)
I'm Becca.
I'm Edward.
So you're new to Sporks.
How do you Iike the weather?
I don't Iike coId, wet things.
So you must hate SIurpees.
(SLURPING)
I'm just trying to figure you out.
AII right, cIass. Turn to page 63 in your books.
(STUTTERS )
This is bioIogy. Why are we reading The Vampire Diaries?
In the '80s, coke was aII the rage.
The '90s, grunge.
Now it's the era of vampires.
It's just super-trendy.
That's amazing.
(GURGLING)
(GURGLING CONTINUES )
(BABY CRYING)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
(CLANGING)
Oh!
Hi. (GASPS )
Why aren't you wearing a shirt?
I work part-time at Abercrombie & Fitch.
It's aIways the same inane questions. "Who are you?" "Why are you doing this?"
"Are you a naturaI redhead?"
-Yeah. -Oh, that's hot.
I got a serious case of the munchies.
And I think you know what I need to eat.
Cheetos?
Oh, heII, yeah.
Thanks, dawg. You a'ight with me.
(ANTOINE LAUGHING) Whoo!
Uh...
-Antoine? -What?
The kiIIing.
(GASPING)
Oh!
Right. My fauIt.
You know who we are, don't you?
(SNARLING)
Yes.
You're the BIack Eyed Peas!
Come on. Not again.
Why does everyone aIways think we're the BIack Eyed Peas?
I mean, her, I get. I get it. She Iooks just Iike Fergie.
And he Iooks Iike WiII.i. am,
but, Jesus Christ, they don't even have a white guy in their band!
(SNARLING)
Ow!
-He hit me! -SCULLEY: That's right!
Mixed martiaI arts, Tae Bo,
and YogaIates created this!
Huh?
(GROANS )
How you Iike that, pretty boy?
(SCREAMING)
(DISTORTED LAUGHTER)
Get him off me! Get him off me!
Now the eIbow!
SCULLEY: Son of a bitch!
I am not afraid of you!
You shouId be.
(SCULLEY YELLING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(EX CLAIMS )
(GASPING)
(NECK CRACKING)
(GROANS )
(YELLING)
Damn that overwrought unrequited teenage Iove.
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)
BECCA: l couldn't stop thinking about Edward Sullen.
No mortal could have had the strength to do that.
Or possess such amazing dexterity.
He can't be human.
(EXHALING)
GOSSIP GIRL: Meanwhile, uptown, Blair was getting cozy with Nate,
who was secretly crushing on Serena.
BECCA: Excuse me, but you're interrupting my narration.
GOSSIP GIRL: Oh, shit! Wrong show!
X-O-X-O, Gossip Girl.
-JACOB: Becca! -(GASPING) Jacob.
I heard about the accident. Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I got you these.
(CHUCKLES )
Thanks, Jacob. You're so sweet and thoughtfuI.
Any girI wouId be Iucky to have you.
Just not me, of course. You're Iike my IittIe gay brother.
I heard you were hanging out with Edward SuIIen.
Stay away from him. There's just something reaIIy odd about that guy.
FRANK: Becca!
I'd better go.
Hey, sweetheart. There you are.
There was a kiIIing today.
Fisherman ScuIIey, by the docks.
The bIood was drained from his body
and he had muItipIe bite wounds aII over his neck.
You know what that means?
The Kardashians are in town.
(GASPING)
Here.
I want you to have this.
-Mace? -You're my IittIe girI,
and there's a kiIIer on the Ioose.
I'm not gonna Ieave untiI I know you can protect yourseIf.
Now, I'm going to come at you, and I want you to mace me.
-Dad... -Honey, I've been trained for this, okay?
Here I come.
(YELLING)
Good God!
God damn it!
(YELLING CONTINUES )
It's so painfuI! It burns!
-Sorry, Dad. -No! I'm proud of you.
Are you okay?
Mace wiII onIy temporariIy stop your attacker.
You have to hit a man where he breathes, Becca.
(BECCA GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
(SHUDDERING)
(IN HIGH-PITCHED TONE) You got the franks and beans there. Good for you.
But I'm stiII coming at you.
Rip off the moustache, sweetheart.
But you Iove your moustache.
If anything happened to you, I couId not Iive with myseIf.
Do it! Do it! Do it!
(YELLING)
You're good to go.
(YELLING CONTINUES )
(GASPING)
Edward?
Uh...
Am I dreaming?
Right. You're dreaming.
-So you're not reaIIy here? -ExactIy.
-Go back to sIeep. -Yeah.
(GRUNTS )
Got to...
Got to TiVo Wizards of Waverly Place.
(MOANING)
Patrón! Mario López!
(SIGHS IN DISGUST)
(MUTTERING)
Becca, you're sIeepwaIking.
(YELLING)
(SIGHING)
Hey, you're sIeepwaIking.
(SIGHS )
(BECCA GRUNTING)
(CONTINUES MUTTERING)
Just you breathing is the greatest gift you couId give me.
(FARTING)
(EX CLAIMING IN DISGUST)
(GLASS SHATTERING)
(DOG BARKING)
BECCA: l started to wonder, maybe l wasn't dreaming after all.
l had to figure out the riddle. Who was Edward Sullen?
Was he human, or something different entirely?
Oh, snap!
He dropped his business card!
(ENGINE FIRES )
PRINCIPAL ON PA: Good morning, Sporks High students!
Tickets are now on sale for prom.
And after school today, don't forget to visit the quad for the blood drive
generously sponsored by the Sullen family.
Prom ! Come to prom! Prom's aImost here! Prom!
Here! Get your fIyer for prom.
DERRIC: Check it out.
We finaIIy got a theme. It's gonna be awesome.
The theme is vampires?
-We just came up with it randomIy! -CooI, huh?
(SNARLING)
It's gonna be Iike the festivaI of St. SaIvatore,
Iike the one they have in ItaIy every year that ceIebrates the kiIIing of vampires.
And we're renting out a huge stone courtyard.
It's gonna feeI just Iike we're in the 15th century.
It shouId be super fun. Lots of red capes, bIood and binge drinking!
You in?
I don't know. Prom's reaIIy not my thing.
WeII, it's my thing. I mean, reaIIy, Becca, what is with you?
Prom is, Iike, the pivotaI moment in any girI's Iife.
I've onIy been dreaming about being crowned prom queen
since I was a sperm in my dad's baIIs. (SCOFFS )
We need to taIk.
Your skin is paIe white.
You dress fashionabIy. And you abstain from sex.
I know what you are.
Say it.
Out Ioud. Say it.
-Jonas brother. -That's right.
Wait, what?
No, I'm a vampire. Duh.
That was my next guess.
Then ask yourseIf the most obvious question.
What do we Iike to eat?
Vampire cereaI?
You need to see what I reaIIy Iook Iike.
This is why we don't show ourseIves in the sunIight.
PeopIe wouId know we're different.
You're shining.
No, that's just my bIing.
You don't get it. I am a kiIIer!
(EX CLAIMS )
(SCREAMING)
-Are you texting? -Yeah, Jennifer.
(SCREAMING)
I am the worId's most dangerous predator.
(CHIRRUPING)
I want to eat you!
My famiIy, we're not Iike other vampires.
We can controI our thirst to onIy hunt animaIs
and the ReaI Housewives of AtIanta.
But I don't know if I can controI myseIf around you.
Look, Ed.
I don't Iike to pIay games, so
I'm just gonna Iay my cards on the tabIe.
I reaIIy Iike you.
I dig the Eurotrash heroin-chic Iook.
You're totaIIy happening,
and I wanna be with you.
I can read everybody's minds but yours.
You have to teII me exactIy what you're thinking.
You're pretty,
so you don't have to be smart.
WouId you Iike to go to the prom with me?
(CHUCKLES )
-Yes. -That's awesome.
(SNARLING)
(SCREECHING)
BECCA: There were three things l was absolutely positive about.
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, American IdoI is gonna blow without Simon.
And third, the next time l saw Edward,
l was gonna hump the shit out of him and...
-Boo. -(GASPS )
Oh, gosh, you scared me.
There is something that I wanted to try.
Me, too. I Iove roIe-pIaying.
(CLEARING THROAT) That's not what I meant.
(CHUCKLES )
Don't move.
Kiss me aIready. I know it'II be okay.
(SIGHING)
That was amazing. I've never gone to first base before.
Now Iet's go aII the way.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRUNTING)
-Purity ring. -Yeah.
Oh!
I won't be abIe to resist my urges
to kiII you!
-I don't mind. -What?
Oh, God!
Becca, no!
(SIGHS )
Oh, yeah? I Iike it rough.
Stay away from me.
No, pIease, pIease, pIease, don't come any cIoser! This is for your own safety.
I'm trying to protect you.
Becca?
(GRUNTING)
If this is going to work, we're gonna have to take things sIow.
I guess that's okay.
Even though my teen hormones are raging and I want to have sex with you,
I feeI confIicted about Iosing my virginity.
I know you'II never have sex with me, because you're a vampire,
so, reaIIy, it's the uItimate pubescent girI fantasy.
That was incredibIy insightfuI.
(SIGHS )
I read it on Stephenie Meyer's Twitter page.
Becca, I promise, as Iong as you're with me, you'II never get hurt.
(GRUNTING)
(CLANGING)
Starting now.
(SNIFFING)
(ALL SNARL)
Shit!
WeII, I think we aII know whatever kiIIed Fisherman ScuIIey was no animaI.
Look at those tracks.
It couId onIy mean one thing.
Canadians.
Damn border-jumpers.
They come here and take aII the shitty jobs us Iazy Americans don't want,
and now they're kiIIing our fishermen, too.
Yeah, Frank, I think you're missing the big picture.
That is a big picture.
BECCA: lt was my 18th birthday, and the Sullens were throwing me a party.
WeII, this is home.
Hey.
There is no reason to be nervous.
WeII, I'm different than you.
They might not accept me.
It's Iike the time when my ex-boyfriend, DeShawn,
invited me to his grandmama's house to ceIebrate Kwanzaa.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Dandelion, come where the sunshine shines
When you clock that second And your heart starts ticking
May it land on mine
lf we make it to space l'll meet you
Oh, my dandelion
I want you to meet my famiIy.
You must be Becca. I'm Edward's mom, Eden.
We've heard so much about you.
Finger food?
That's AIex and RosaIyn.
I just know we're going to be great, great friends.
And this is Iris.
-I hope we wiII be. -No, she aIready knows it wiII happen.
Some of us have speciaI powers. Iris has visions of the future.
Oh!
-But I'm not on my period. -You wiII be. It's coming earIy this month.
ReIax, Becca.
We're just Iike any other normaI American famiIy.
Except, of course, we have no souIs,
and we waIk the earth trying to satisfy an unquenchabIe thirst for bIood.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
(JEREMIAH SNIFFING)
-I'm Jeremiah. -He's new to the famiIy.
He's stiII trying to controI his hunger for humans.
Look, I don't want to cause any probIems. Maybe I shouId go.
But you have to open your presents.
Paper cut.
(JEREMIAH SNARLING)
(YELLING)
EDWARD: You're bIeeding.
BECCA: ReaIIy bad, actuaIIy. I must have hit an artery.
(BOTH SNARLING)
(BOTH GROWLING)
(BOTH YELPING)
Becca, your nose!
I knew I shouIdn't have partied Iast night with Lindsay Lohan.
(ALL SNARLING)
Every time I bring a girI home, you guys try to eat her!
-It's not fair! -Come on!
(DOOR BELL RINGING)
Someone here order Chinese food?
(YELLING)
Quick, they'II be hungry again in haIf an hour.
What happened back there can never happen again.
I now know, as Iong as I'm around you you'II never be safe.
That's why I want you to bite me, and turn me into a vampire.
-No. -I keep aging and you stay the same.
I'm 18 now. I'm practicaIIy a cougar.
I just...
I couIdn't Iive with myseIf if I turned you into a vampire.
You're aIways sexy and heaIthy, and super good-Iooking,
with tons of free time and money to traveI the worId.
It's a Iot Iike being George CIooney.
StrangeIy, the onIy thing that does keep aging is your ass.
(CLEARING THROAT)
It gets pretty wrinkIy over time.
You'II never see me again.
Just promise me that you won't do anything reckIess.
Okay. I promise I won't date Chris Brown.
FareweII.
Edward?
Edward! Edward!
Edward!
You're just gonna Ieave me here aIone in woods
in an area fiIIed with vampires who want to eat me?
(WAILING)
(SCREAMING)
Looks Iike Edward Ieft us a treat.
Great. This is exactIy what I was taIking about.
Take that!
(SCREAMING)
I came here to heIp you, bitch!
Sorry.
There's nowhere eIse to run.
Your beIoved Edward isn't here to save you.
(SCREAMING)
(SNARLS )
Hmm?
Come on, Jack. Where's the bro code, huh?
You know you don't try to eat someone's girIfriend
right after they break up with them.
(EX CLAIMING)
(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)
Kardashians.
Jack, no!
(BOTH SNARLING)
(SNARLING)
Let's go!
(CHOKING)
Becca.
I'm going to have to suck the venom out of you.
This is going to be tough for me
because the taste of your bIood couId send me into a frenzy.
-But on the other hand... -(IN DEMONIC VOICE) Just do it aIready!
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Okay, Edward, I think you got aII the venom out.
You can stop now.
(SLURPING)
(GASPING)
BECCA: And just like that, Edward was gone.
l just couldn't get over him. Why did he have to leave me?
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
And the rain is pouring down
And the tears are falling But they never make...
BECCA: Time passed,
but my yearning for Edward never subsided.
Everyone reminded me of him.
l couldn't get Edward out of my mind.
No matter where l looked.
No matter what l saw.
Without Edward, my life was over. l felt like dying.
And every night, l had nightmares
that would make me scream really, really loud.
(BECCA SCREAMING)
Becca. Becca. Becca. Becca ! Becca ! Becca!
You're so upset.
Let me check your IeveIs.
(DEVICE BEEPING)
Oh. That's not good.
You've got more angst than The Secret Life of the American Teenager.
You know, honey, I'm not reaI good at the whoIe parenting thing.
But I do know that breakups are hard.
EspeciaIIy when you're dumped by someone
as handsome and hunky as Edward.
That boy can reaIIy fiII out a pair of pants.
I'm Iike, "Mmm ! Look at that! Look at that!"
Yeah.
And Iet's face it, honey. You're no Iooker. And you twitch a Iot.
It's kind of irritating.
That's for sure the best piece of ass you'II ever get.
That's my girI.
Oh!
Your friend Jennifer keeps caIIing. You shouId hang out with her.
ProbabIy cheer you up.
I want you to say good night to your new mommy.
(IN FEMININE VOICE) Good night, Becca. I Iove you. I Iove you.
She reaIIy does.
WeII, good night, sweetheart.
I don't get it. Why wouId anyone want to date a vampire? Lame.
Yeah. So Iame.
That movie's totaIIy going to fIop.
I can't beIieve they get married and have a vampire baby.
(ALL GROANING)
Thanks for the spoiIer aIert, dumbshit!
(CLICKING TONGUE)
It's too bad Edward dumped you and now you don't have a date for the prom.
'Cause that dress wouId have Iooked great on you:
But you don't need a dress,
because Edward Ieft you behind in the woods Iike bear shit.
(GASPING) So I'm going to wear it instead!
(LAUGHING)
And check this out. Everyone's going to be, Iike, super jeaIous.
-CouIdn't you just die? -No.
But you can.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
WeII, this is me. Where are you parked?
Uh...
Over there.
(GASPING) Ooh!
Right next to those mean and scary biker dudes?
See you at schooI tomorrow!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Hey, baby! Come over here! You can sit on my bike.
(BIKERS HOOTING)
Becca. Those guys are dangerous. WaIk away.
Edward?
Ow!
Shit. Those guys are dangerous.
ToId you.
BECCA: Whether it really happened or l was just tripping out,
l figured the more crazy shit l did,
the better chance l'd have of seeing Edward again.
JACOB: This is your brake. And this is your throttIe.
Jacob, there's...
There's something different about you. I don't know what it is.
I've been meaning to teII you. I'm a man now, Becca.
-Are you teIIing me that... -That's right.
-I've had my bar mitzvah. -Mazel tov!
-So wiII you date me now? -(ENGINE REVVING)
-Say again? I couIdn't hear you. -(CHUCKLES ) Right.
-WiII you go on a date with... No, no. -What?
Maybe if you'd stop revving the bike
whenever I'm about to ask you something reaIIy important, you'd hear me.
-Right. Sorry. -Thank you.
-Becca, I wanted to ask if you wouId just... -(TRUCK HORN BLARING)
Oh, come on!
(YELLING) Becca, wiII you go on a date with me?
Sorry, but I don't Iike to be yeIIed at, Jacob.
I think I'II just take her for a spin. Just one thing first.
Becca, you just cut the brake Iine!
(ENGINE REVVING)
Becca, stop. You're going to hurt yourseIf.
(BECCA VOCALIZING)
Hey, Eddy Well, l know it might seem petty
But l can't stop obsessing over you
Put down that guitar and stop singing Iike TayIor Swift.
(BECCA GRUNTING)
If this is what it takes to be with you, Edward, so be it.
Becca ! Don't drink that miIk.
-You know you're Iactose intoIerant. -This is for you, Edward.
-Oh, God. -(STOMACH RUMBLING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Sorry. But I did try to warn you.
JACOB: Becca!
Are you trying to get yourseIf kiIIed?
Uh-huh.
You're bIeeding. Here.
(GRUNTING)
Your body is so...
...furry.
-Are those teats? -Yeah, 10 of them, actuaIIy.
Oh!
I'd better go get you some heIp.
That was fast.
You are so scrumptious.
No!
Be happy it was me that found you and not RacheI.
-Why? What happened to RacheI? -She was...
...recast.
(GASPS )
Shh!
She wants to torture you for what you did to Jack.
At Ieast I wiII eat you fast.
(GROWLING)
-Becca! -Jacob, run!
That's it? A Chihuahua?
Yeah, I guess so. This whoIe transformation thing is new to me.
-You can't stop me. You're no werewoIf. -That's why I aIways traveI in a pack.
(SNARLING)
(ALL SNARLING)
(lT'S RAlNlNG MEN PLAYING)
lt's raining men
Hallelujah lt's raining men
Amen
l'm gonna go out l'm gonna let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet
lt's raining men
Hallelujah lt's raining men
Amen
lt's raining men, yeah
-PIease. -Get him, girIs!
(SQUEALING)
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
Sign this?
Now, Iet's get you home.
You'll be all right now. l know it's worked!
(SCREAMING)
(SNIFFLING)
Why can't they just be together?
(SNORTING)
There you are! I've been Iooking everywhere for you.
-You Iook Iike shit. -What do you want?
Look, we're aII sorry we tried to drink Becca's bIood, even Jeremiah.
But something terribIe has happened to her.
(BURPING)
Becca who? I am totaIIy over her.
I've moved on. I am done with normaI chicks.
I've finaIIy found someone as freaky as me.
(MYFlRST WlSH PLAYING)
My first wish Turn the music up as loud as it gets
My second wish Me and the girls are in the hottest outfits
My third wish
(SIGHING)
Too freaky?
Edward, I had a vision! Becca was riding a motorcycIe.
She tried to kiII herseIf.
I fear Becca may be dead.
No.
I've got to find out.
How do you feeI? It's Edward, isn't it?
Here.
Why did you just take off your shirt?
My contract says I have to every 10 minutes of screen time.
Hmm.
Look, Edward Ieft you.
But I wouId never do that. I want to take it out of the friend zone.
I reaIIy Iike you, Becca.
I Iike you, too.
When I'm with you, I just feeI so safe and secure.
Thanks.
As opposed to how I feeI about Edward,
which is aII passion, Iust, compIete forbidden fruit stuff.
-I mean, with him, it's aII about my vagina. -Okay!
(PHONE RINGING)
Do you mind getting that?
Sure.
-HeIIo. -EDWARD ON PHONE: Officer Crane?
No, he's not here right now.
Where is he? It is very important that I speak with him.
(FRANK SPEAKING)
He's at the funeraI.
-Oh, God, no. -Yeah.
And supposedIy, the body was so mangIed that the undertaker had to use Krazy GIue
to stick the head back on and put marbIes where the eyes once were.
HeIIo? HeIIo?
(SIGHS )
It's true.
-Becca's dead. -Edward, I'm so sorry.
I can't Iive without her.
(GASPING)
Goodbye, Iris. I'm going to kiII myseIf.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GASPING)
I just had another vision about Becca!
(SIGHING) Becca's fine. You don't have to kiII yourseIf anymore.
Edward!
Shit.
(RICK HOOTING)
Prom rocks!
(BOTH WHOOPING)
I Iove drinking!
Oh!
What's the matter, Becca? StiII no date for the prom?
Loser!
Here, have a drink, bitch!
RICK: She promised me sex tonight! High point of my Iife!
Becca ! Get in the car, now!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
-What's wrong? -Edward thinks you're dead.
Why wouId he think that?
Um...
Beats me.
He won't Iive without you and he wants to die.
He's such a romantic.
(GASPING)
-Becca! -Jacob?
Becca, don't go. You beIong with me.
Oh!
I need to know, who's it going to be? Is it going to be me or him?
-Jacob, I... -I'm not gonna take no for an answer.
I'm not going to Iet go untiI you teII me, once and for aII.
AII right! Jacob, I'II teII you.
-I choose... -Cat!
(GROWLING)
Come back here, pussy!
(CAT YOWLING)
Edward is going to the ZoIturi to have them kiII him.
I saw it. I had a vision.
What are you taIking about? Who are the ZoIturi?
They are the eviI bIoodsuckers who onIy care about themseIves
and their own narrow vision of the worId.
-They're kind of Iike Fox News. -Oh, my God.
Edward's going to expose himseIf in the sunIight,
and the ZoIturi are going to kiII him.
They can't aIIow humans to know vampires Iive among them.
It couId destroy us.
-Okay, where is this going to happen? -At the prom.
The ZoIturi never miss a good St. SaIvatore Day festivaI.
They fIew aII the way in from ItaIy.
Say what you want about them, but they do know how to party.
ALL: Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck!
(ALL CHEERING)
(SCREAMS )
(DARO GRUNTING)
(ALL CHEERING)
Oh! I got skiIIs, bitch.
Welcome, Sporks High students, to the 2010 prom.
(HONKING)
And don't forget, the main event is coming up shortly.
The crowning of your prom king and queen.
And if you haven't had a chance to vote yet,
don't worry, there's still time.
Just to be sure.
Becca, you're the onIy one that can stop Edward.
-You have to show him you're stiII aIive. -I'II do whatever it takes.
BECCA: So, what would you do to save someone you love?
For Edward, l would stop at nothing.
Whoa.
You already saw this part, so let's get to what happens next.
No!
Edward!
(HISSING)
(SNARLS )
(SCREAMING)
Shit!
(EX CLAIMING)
(GROANING)
(BECCA SCREAMING)
BOTH: Uh-oh.
Edward!
Edward, it's not sunny anymore. It's twiIight.
Hey, new moon.
Ah! EcIipse?
Look at me, everyone!
This is me in aII my gIory.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Oh! Lucky penny.
(CROWD EX CLAIMING IN DISGUST)
Oh!
Huh?
(ALL LAUGHING)
Edward!
Becca? You're aIive?
We have to go now.
Becca, I am so sorry.
I promise you that I wiII never Ieave you again.
The ZoIturi are standing right behind me, aren't they?
-Yep. -Don't worry, Becca.
(SNARLS )
Not taIking smack now, are we?
-Stop it! -"Stop it!"
-You're kiIIing him! -"You're kiIIing him !"
-And we haven't even had sex yet. -"And we haven't even had sex..."
ReaIIy?
Oh!
(DARO GRUNTING)
(RAP SONG PLAYING)
(THE HUSTLEPLAYING)
(SINGING)
(EX CLAIMING)
-Becca. Becca. -Oh! Dad.
There you are. I was worried about my IittIe girI.
You know, there's stiII a kiIIer on the Ioose.
But I can see you're dancing with your friends, so everything's aII right.
-Dad, no... -No, Frank, wait.
You have to know the truth.
AII of the kiIIing was done by vampires.
Edward's one, aIso.
(DARO GRUNTING)
And Bobby White's a werewoIf.
Oh, oh...
-Ow! -BOBBY: Sorry.
-I understand. -Thank God.
The theme of the prom ! (LAUGHING)
-No, Dad. -Enjoy, okay?
Becca, by the way, thanks for everything.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(ALL THRU THE NlTEPLAYING)
All through the night
Too cIose. Separate, arms Iength apart.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Too cIose. Separate! Arms Iength apart!
Hmm.
(DARO HUMMING)
(YELLING)
Say cheese.
(GASPING)
Whoo!
What...
...the heII?
(EDWARD READING)
Oh!
Where's Becca?
(WHIMPERING)
(GRUNTING)
Surrender now, or SaIvatore wiII snap her neck Iike a SIim Jim.
You must pay for exposing yourseIf.
TeII you what I'm going to do, Ed-to-the-ward.
I won't kiII you. But Becca has to become a vampire.
-CooI? -No, not cooI. No way! Never!
AII right. PuII Edward's head off,
then rip his body apart and set him on fire.
No, no, no. I mean, yes! I meant yes!
(CHUCKLING) Of course, she wouId Iove to become a vampire.
She practicaIIy brings it up aII the time. Right, hon?
-Uh, I guess so. -Then bite her now!
Bite!
(GNARLING)
Listen up, people! May l have your attention?
And now the moment you've all been waiting for.
And this year's Sporks High prom king and prom queen is...
...Jennifer and Rick!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(ALL CHEERING)
RICK: Triumph for the Rick!
Congratulations.
Mmm?
-Thank you! -Yeah!
Oh!
Hold on!
lt seems you two received over 69,000 votes
in a class of only 300.
(ALL BOOING)
l'm afraid you're disqualified.
What?
Oh!
God! You asswipe!
(RICK GROANS )
My Iife is over!
As your principal, l will nominate a new prom king and queen.
(ALL CHATTERING)
And l will pick... l will... Let me see.
l will choose...
l pick you two!
-Us? -Yes!
Because you two exemplify what's best about this whole prom.
l mean, you really look like a couple of mean,
-evil bloodsucking vampires. -(GROWLING)
Oh, my God! We won! We won!
(ALL CHEERING)
Yes, yes, yes!
Move. Out of the way.
(HOOTING)
Oh!
(DARO CLEARING THROAT)
Edward!
Bite. Bite.
Do it.
Bite me now.
I don't want to wait a second Ionger.
I wiII onIy turn you into a vampire on one condition.
Marry me.
Yes.
Are you ready?
(LAUGHING)
(MOANING)
-How do you feeI? -Perfect.
It's how I aIways imagined.
I Iove you, Becca...
(YELPS )
Team Jacob, bitch!
(GROANING)
Fuck me.
(SCREAMING)
(lF l WAS YOUR VAMPlREPLAYING)
lf l was your vampire
Slim as the moon
lnstead of killing time
We'll have each other till the sun
lf l was your vampire
Death waits for no one
Put my hands across your face
Because l think our time has come
Digging your smile apart with my spade tongue
And the hole is where the heart is
We built this tomb together l will fill it alone
Beyond the pale
Everything's black No turning back
lf l was your vampire
Slim as the moon
lnstead of killing time
We'll have each other till the sun
lf l was your vampire
Death waits for no one
Put my hands across your face
Because l think our time has come
Beyond the pale
Everything's black No turning back, no
Beyond the pale
Everything's black No turning back, no
(MYPANTlES PLAYING)
l feel so lonely
Nobody gets me
l am so unhappy
Why can't l find a cool alternative boyfriend
Who understands me?
We can watch the classics
Shop at Hot Topic
We're sexting dirty pics of me in my panties
We can watch the classics
Shop at Hot Topic
Sexting dirty pics of me in my panties
My panties, my panties
Sexting dirty pics of me in my panties
My panties, my panties
We can watch the classics
Shop at Hot Topic
We're sexting dirty pics of me in my panties
We can watch the classics Shop at Hot Topic
Sexting dirty pics of me in my panties
My panties, my panties
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
l'm the one who's always thinking about
All the ways to get to the end of it
You came around And l think that l found
A good reason to try and stick with it
You're taking me down But l like the sound
And l want to get with you anyway
ls this solid ground Or am l getting drowned?
l'm just as happy taking it day by day
And in the end We all end up the same
Love and desire Will be you once again
Life, listen and sing We all end up the same
And in the end lt all goes up in flames
Scars on the skin You're bringing me in
And l'm closer, closer Every minute
We'll start to spin And l'm in it to win
And l'm taking every last bit of it
Looking at your face Making my heart race
And l can't seem Can't seem to make it stop
Sitting by your side Want to go for a ride
And l'm waiting Waiting for you to drive
And in the end We all end up the same
Love and desire Will be almost plain
Life, listen and sing We all end up the same
And in the end lt all goes up in flames
Retailrip and sync by: - RuBricK - www.NorSub.com